Adventures in Hypnosis and Psychic Experiences, Part 2

Ramblings About Being an Empath While Under Hypnosis

Last year, I wrote about some of my hypnosis adventures, and I would say it was one of the most popular non-fiction write-ups outside of my short stories.

One thing I have been wanting to write about is what my past life regression showed me last year. It was fascinating to experience this, and almost a year later I still feel the positive effects of my sessions. I am thinking about doing another session this spring – it worked so well, and I cannot recommend it enough. I had what I would equate to The Great Wall of China in my head with old trauma and issues. Hypnosis ripped right through it and dismantled it brick-by-brick.

My fast-moving, type A personality moves too fast to slow down most days. Mediumship is a little challenging for me due to my issues with holding a clear and vivid visualization while meditating. While I am not able to fully visualize everything in 100% technicolor, I am able to keep up similar to following a teleprompt feeding into my head. What helped me with this process was my mix of psychic abilities I have been working on recently. The “seeing” part is Clairvoyance, which is most challenging for me, but not impossible. This experience was more a combination of: 1) Clairvoyance, as I could “see” in my mind but it was like I was jumping in and out and I had to concentrate to stay in one place, and 2) Claircognizance, as in I experienced the lives as a download of information streaming into my head like knowledge in the form of solid thoughts placed in my head, one after another. These are the “clairs” I am trying to develop. I also just completed the workshop on Automated Writing. What is that, you ask?

Automatic writing is a form of channeling, where you allow a higher power to create or guide the words that you write. It involves allowing Spirit, the universal mind or your higher self to simply flow through you. 
(https://medium.com/astro-fieldguide/how-to-channel-through-automatic-writing-e6d42f816c4)

The only experience I had before this is seeing a friend in High School, while visiting at her house, do this on a notebook page. But, was she really doing this, or just showing off as most teenagers are wont to do? I was not aware of my abilities at that time in my life. The older I become, I seem to embrace this more and more. It seems, from the courses I have taken, I have a touch of a few of the clairs -

• Clairsentience: clear feeling, emotional empath - Yeah! Big Time! This is my strongest ability. I mostly block it, but I get vibes off of people, can feel the “aura” of their emotions especially if it strong (positive/negative/neutral).

• Claircongnizance: clear knowing, a teleprompt in one’s head - This happens when i give readings, and sometimes spontaneously. It was the primary way I received information under hypnosis.

• Clairaudience: clear hearing - somewhat. I get song loops in my head with lyrics helpful for the situation. In Hypnosis, I received Tori Amos singing “way down . . . way down . . . she goes” as I was visualizing going down an escalator in the deep dark of my mind. And that will play in my head for a day or more, sometimes, until I figure out its purpose and meaning. It is very distracting as well, it’s a pushy bitch sometimes.

• Clairvoyance: clear seeing. This is the area I wish to develop more. I get this sometimes, such as when I got the intuitive download of the Picture Window story. It feels true to me that this actually happened in real child’s mind, like I had a glimpse into someone’s life. I built a story around it, made it joyful. And it feels right. More actual images playing in my head like a movie is the goal.

• Precognitive - seeing/knowing things before it happens. Eh . . . I’ve had a few instances, but it’s not under any sort of control or understanding. We’ll see what happens with that. I feel a few moments before something happens. It happened in Hypnosis, and a few memories I have in my younger life.

The “clair” sense I am naturally inclined towards is clairsentience. I do this with my tarot reading for others, and while I can turn it off for the most part, if the energy is strong enough, it can wash over me like a wave. I was in a diner the other day, in a booth sitting next to an older man and his elderly mother. The older man was on a non-stop tirade about everything under the sun and pulling “Karen” to the unfortunate servers and hostesses trying to appease him. After a short while, I started to feel nauseous and my mood shifted rapidly, so much that I almost asked to change tables. It was like a wave of hate pouring over me, and my husband knew that look and just held my hands while I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

On the other side of this ability, in my early 30’s I was at an afterparty in downtown Los Angeles. Talking with another woman I was close with (who was also an empath), I felt a strange feeling come over me – absolute love, a heart connection, and then . . . I felt really high. The heart connection was a direct stream of “energy” from my heart to hers and I saw this visualization in my mind. I was instantly in love with her very being. Honestly, I already loved her so much, but this was a major elevation, and our flow of words expressing this to one another still warms my heart. It was akin to toddlers making sounds to one another using a secret language. I felt like we were soulmates, and transcended time and space. Everything around us faded away to background noise. This was the start of the “high” feeling I had with her. I asked, “Wait, why do I feel high talking with you?”. The answer, of course, was that she was empathic like me, felt exactly what I was picking up from her (confirming my side of things), and that her ecstasy pill was taking effect. I was absolutely floored – this gorgeous soul across from me, a friend who was kind of more than a friend at times – she was just like me and chose to share her high with me. I floated on air, wanted to be around her energy, and spent the rest of the night with my arm around her in some way, goofy smile on our faces. If there was any woman that ever took my breath away, it was this one.

Over the years, I have figured out the triggers for my empathic/psychic abilities, either positive or negative. I generally stay away from large crowds of unruly drunk people in bars, however concerts are fine if I am not squished in the crowd. I block energy as much as I can, and I can’t say how I learned to do that. My ability diminishes when I am experiencing high stress, anxiety, depression and other people with really strong energy or personalities. My inner circle is small but stable. I am a homebody – my husband and I have officially entered the “get off my lawn” era of our lives. The quiet desert life suites us well, and I feel like we found something that works in our 40’s. What have I become?  My 20-year-old self would have some things to say to my nearly 45-year-old self.

I went on this tangent for context of my past lives. Other family members, especially the women, have some form of psychic abilities. It seems to be genetic for me. While in a recent mediumship course, I inquired of the group their opinion on mediums (me) and the intensity and clarity of what happens when we go “under”. The general consensus (their opinion, at least) is that it is indeed “more” for us – more vivid, more messages, speaking with the dead (yes, that happened to me), and an ability to have full conversations with our guides. It echoed my experience exactly. I felt more “normal” hearing that this happened to other folks who have abilities. Genetically, I have ancestry that goes back to the first American Colonies (Betsy Ross through a marriage, and Ulysses Grant directly as a Great-Great-Something Uncle), and before that in Ireland/British Isles before the famines. Family came over, from what my relatives say, from the British Isles going WAY back. This matters for my past lives. It is also uncanny that my paternal grandmother and her daughter as well (where all this heritage comes from) is the source of all things me – photos at certain ages show a resemblance that we could be the same person from different generations. Same Irish eyes, face, body type, hair.

Let me preface my experience of past life regression with the clarification that I have always felt a pull to Ireland and Celtic anything, and early American History. Also, don’t listen to music in the car on the way to the office, some sessions were distracted by that last song I heard looping through my head. Now, let’s proceed. It’s important.

We talked before we began, and I had questions:

·      Would I feel high? (no)

·      Would I be totally asleep? (no)

·      Would I be shoved into a super vivid movie in my head? (no, but it depends on you)

·      Would I encounter fear or anxiety? (not really, super relaxing)

·      Would I be aware of my physical surroundings at all times? (yes)

·      Would I cry or get emotional at times? (yes, and it’s OK)

All questions answered, I felt more at ease. I had no idea was a past life regression would be like, but it was a bucket list experience for me. And it delivered. My Hypnotherapist started by relaxing me so deep that I was almost asleep. My mind was wide open, yet I could still hear the air conditioning hum (that was almost a distraction, which pissed me off), the cars passing the office, and the light was still passing through my eye mask on my face. She started a guided meditation/visualization that sent me to “safe” place of my choosing, which we discussed beforehand. Mine was a beach shore with small rocks and vegetation. There were a few small buildings like cabanas scattered about, with a gazebo in the center. We used this place for most of my sessions. At some point I was directed to walk to the gazebo and get comfortable in the seat cushions. She asked me to visualize a soft comfortable cover over me, and my mind actually showed me a thick, white fleece blanket. I remember that I saw something different than what the visualization suggested. In my visualization, I relaxed and settled in. This is where it really starts.

It's kind of hard to explain, but hypnosis felt like peeling back layers of an onion. First, I was in the physical world with my Hypnotherapist, then my body was relaxed using “white light” through the body mediation. Then the next layer was in my head, the gazebo setting. Then even deeper, spiraling into the first past life I saw. So it’s a visualization within a visualization. Got it? Yes? Let’s go.

Past Life #1 – “Kelley”, Pre-Roman Era Celtic Tribe in the British Isles

The first thing she asked me once I landed in this life was to look down at my feet and the ground. I saw a sort of ancient strappy sandals on my feet. I was a young 20’s female, on green grassland. Bright sun, and I could feel the lovely heat on my skin. Who is this girl? I am not looking up yet, but in my mind was receiving this information like a teleprompter, a steady feed of facts about my environment and self. This self, my feed told me, what named “Kelley”. Yes, I saw the word exactly as it was spelled float up in my mind. That extra “E”. I would not normally spell that name with the extra vowel. I look directly above and see the sun shining. It is the most beautiful day, perhaps it is spring equinox due to the mild heat, cool wind, and the abundance of green nature around me. It feels so good, and then I see I have long, blonde hair. I am Kelley, a Celtic Priestess, in the middle of a circle of tribe members, in the midst of a prosperity ritual. Life has been good. I am “in training” as the Shaman’s daughter. I can see him in front of a small hut or shelter to my right. He’s wearing horns on the “hat” of his ritual garb. During the ritual, I am speaking boldly, thanking the Goddess and God for the wealth of food and abundance of the land and the tribe. I am passing along a tribute of food and drink to the circle. It was very happy and peaceful. This life makes sense to me - I feel this pull to paganism, spiritualism, and ritual all my life. Perfectly in place and feels true to my heart and spirit.

I stop getting additional feeds about this person, and I am able to tell my Hypnotherapist that this is all I can see. She directs me another life.

Past Life #2 – “John”, American Colonies, Jamestown, 1700’s

Do you remember Jamestown? Not exactly a happy story, in the end. Google it if you are rusty on your early American History, but there was plenty of iffy-at-best relations with the native tribes, a lot of disease, and settlers starting probably doomed lives. Also, there were smallpox blankets. So, let’s begin!

Looking down at my feet and ground again. This time, it looks like fur-lined boots in the woods. There was plenty of light ,and the trees and vegetation were a spaced out. Who am I this time? The feed told me that I was a middle-aged man (40’s?), brown hair, and carrying a bow and arrows. They were gifted from the native tribes for hunting. I am trying to hunt but there’s nothing moving in the woods, therefore no food to bring home. I am directed to walk, and the feed brings me to a small cabin on the edge of town (Jamestown). I am a man who wants to be a provider. The town has supplies, but I am the type of man who builds his own cabin and fends for ones own whenever possible.

My hypnotherapist asks me if I have a wife in the cabin – yes, her name is “Sally” and I have a daughter as well. She asked me to jump back in time to when my daughter was born. I am able to see this very clearly. Sally and I are in the cabin and she has  given birth to a healthy girl. I am asked what this girl’s name is, and what floats up is “Lily”, but I have to discount this as not correct as a friend in real life just had a daughter with the same name, so that’s out. The midwife hands me my bundled baby girl, and I am crying just looking at her. She’s beautiful.

I am asked to go back in time to another important part of John’s life. This time is it so vivid I can taste the salt in the air. I am walking off a ship, arriving at Jamestown in my 20’s after a long voyage from across the Atlantic Ocean from the British Isles. I am walking in a line of people off the ship down a wooden ramp with small boards intermittently nailed across to prevent slipping. I can see my brown leather boots carefully walking down, and then I look up towards the town at the edge of the harbor. The group I am with are men, and we are directed to walk towards a path between two medium-sized buildings to meet with the Magistrate of Jamestown.

I am asked to now go to John’s death, and this one really got me emotional. My feed brings me back to the cabin, and I am in my 60’s. I am asked to look at my feet again, and I see that I am laying down in a small twin bed with a blanket over my body. I am very sick with smallpox. Sally is beside me, sad and upset. It is moments before my death. I am coughing and my body is shaking with each one. Very weak, pain, just so sick. Once my last breath is gone, my spirit leaves the body and I look upon my wife putting her head on my chest in sorrow, and I was across the room. Oh the tears, my friends. My face was wet when I came out of this from very real sorrow and tears for poor John. My spirit, looking at the scene in front of me changes perspective and it seems I am like a fly on the cabin’s wall, seeing the spirit become blueish and translucent, rising up and above, gone. The feed stops. I can’t take anymore of poor John.

I am directed back to the canopy on my beach, out of that inner onion layer in my mind. I am glad for it, but grateful for the experience. I have trauma issues with difficulty grieving those I have lost, so this was cathartic for me. I am back under my comfortable, safe white blanket. In my mind, I am closing my eyes and calming down. She brings me out slowly, the onion layers peeling back to the physical world. I take off my eye mask, my chest heaving and eyes crying with grief for John.

I welcome your comments. This is probably the most personal thing I have ever written for the public realm. I am a highly private person, but I after I posted the first hypnosis post, all of you wanted more. So, there it is. My brain trying to heal itself. Next installment, talking to my deceased mother while under hypnosis and experiencing my own birth. I welcome your comments and thoughts, as always.

This is a series! Read on . . .